Confession

I never give up on you till today.
Though , lot of things had happened.
Lost contact with you.
As long i know that you are fine.
I am happy for you.
Blame it on my persistence and perseverance.
The feelings just grew every day unknowingly.
Pray for you every night before I go to bed.

Confusion

Enter the state of confusion in the mind.
Meanings and reasons is just an excuse.
Love and hate is an emotion and psychological thing.
Trust and Lie is part of parcels of life.
Finding your real self takes time.
Changing of personality and habits to another person does make a person confused of who he/ she is.
Learn to love and treasure the personality and habits of the own self.
Thus, you are able to leave the state of confusion in the mind of who you are in the first place. Not someone you do not recognise after the changes to someone who don't look/feel like you.

It's my life

This song was dedicate to someone i detest now.
Inspired by~ Sometimes you just dont get it.

It's my life - Bon Jovi

This ain't a song for the broken-hearted
No silent prayer for the faith-departed
I ain't gonna be just a face in the crowd
You're gonna hear my voice
When I shout it out loud

Chorus:
It's my life It's now or never
I ain't gonna live forever
I just want to live
while I'm alive
(It's my life)

My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said
I did it my way
I just wanna live while
I'm alive
It's my life

This is for the ones who stood their ground
For Tommy and Gina who never backed down
Tomorrow's getting harder make no mistake
Luck ain't even lucky
Got to make your own breaks

Chorus:
It's my life
And it's now or never
I ain't gonna live forever
I just want to live while
I'm alive (It's my life)

My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said I did it my way
I just want to live while I'm alive
'Cause it's my life
Better stand tall when they're calling you out
Don't bend, don't break, baby, don't back down

Chorus:
It's my life
And it's now or never
'Cause I ain't gonna live forever
I just want to live while I'm alive
(It's my life)
My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said
I did it my way
I just want to live while
I'm alive

Chorus:
It's my life
And it's now or never
'Cause I ain't gonna live forever
I just want to live while I'm alive
(It's my life)
My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said
I did it my way
I just want to live while
I'm alive
'Cause it's my life!

Sometimes you just don't get it

Sometimes you just don’t get it.
All you did and said it is good for me.
Hate the habits of my caffeine, cigarette, language, hobbies, personal life and my social life.
All you ever reply it is good for me and draws both of us closer.
It is because you want it that way.
Stop asking me to change to another person by force or emotion torture.
Just leave me alone, stop changing me to someone that I don’t recognise now.
I am not a remote controller to let you control all the time!
I love myself more than you do.
My life is never happy since you drop by for nearly 3 years.
But sometimes you just don’t get it.

The night

Danced through the tunes of R & B and hip hop.
Friends saw her dancing through her favourite song.
Amazed by her dance steps and how she flow herself freely with the music.
She never fail to amaze her friends with her dance steps and how she expresses herself freely.
Friends love to watch her dance as she express her femmine side of her.

The dark side of the unknown

Her favourite genre of music spinned on her favourite club.
She felt the music like running through her like second skin.
She loves to dance to express herself.
Enter the deep soul of the music and emotions as she danced.
As she expresses herself, the tears from her soul cried in fear, silent and sadness.
She end the night with a smiling face, but the soul is always filled with sadness.
She knows she lost her sense of directions.

I'll say a little prayer

Avoiding is something that i try not to do it.
The fear of losing you has happened.
I know at times you have your own reasons.
Never blame you for anything or everything you said to hurt me.
Thee time made me to forgive you eventually.
Pray to god every night before i go to bed.
Pray and hope to see you clearly and catch up the old time again.
Tears flow with my heart feeling heavy, each time i pray.
The prayer is a comfort for me.

Those were the most stressful days

The phone rang non stop.
Running and pacing up and down around the whole office.
Supporting thirty four staffs for administrative and secretarial duties.
Superior and colleagues hunt her down when she's not at her desk.
Documents keep pilling in and her out tray is always packed with documents and bulky items.
Though it is a fast paced environment.
Time is always running out and was never enough.
She is passion in her work back then.
She is glad that till today that her ex colleagues 's support her in whatever she do.


P/S : Lastly , thanks for the support ever since i left the company for a year now. Especially Celina, Johnson and Liping. Thank you for your encouragement and stood by my side all these while.

Once again

She took a long walk to the place where she is familiar.
Every step she walked.
Her heart beats faster.
Happiness and despair moment can’t seem to hide anymore from her face.
Tears rolls as she walks.
Empty promise was made before, breaks her heart.
Hoping and longing that the familiar face appears in front of her.
Console herself and convince herself that she is strong and happy.
Deep inside her is as fragile as a glass.
Hoping the day that the familiar face will appear in front of her and hug her once again.

Solitary passerby

Walking along the street of chinatown.
Experience the shopping experience of festive season of lunar new year.
Stalls filled with goodies, clothes and decoration accessories.
Vendors and crowds stir up the whole street filled with shouting and bargaining.
Loving every bits and pieces of the window shopping alone.
The festive season often reminds her to treasure her loved ones even more.

Nostaglia moment

Pray for hope to find a cure for the broken heart.
Unable to seek much help from friends and loved one.

Melancholic moments breaks down in the night.

Hoping and praying to get the feelings and the person back.

The time seems hard to past by every moments.

Cried in silent unable to express the mixture of emotions.

Solitary existence

A cheerful and outgoing person certainly makes everyone love her company.

Friends and loved ones hope to see her crazy and the daredevil spirit again.

Friends and loved ones sent her well wishes.

Prayed and hoping she is coping well in her life.

She is enjoying the moment of silent and peaceful life now.
Feel tired at times to cheer everyone up at times.
The peaceful life she led now is the solitary existence.
Solitary existence makes a better person at times when times goes by.

First Day

She was stuck in the middle of nowhere near her home.
Rushing and running around like a mad women.
The taxi came on the right time.
As she past by, familar buildings and familar landscapes.
Bought her to the nostaglic moments.
She tried hard not to think of it.
She kept silent and smile away with her heart feeling heavy.
The thirty minutes journey bought her a mixture of happiness and sadness.
As she reached her destination, she put on a cheerful smile on her first day of work.

Believe

The song played and repeated alot of time.
The lyrics warm her heart at first.
As the song goes by, her heart bled and tore apart.
She sat alone and reminisce her past.
She treasure everything in the past.
Memories are always sweet and short lived.
Tired and depressed that her tears flow silently.
She believe time heals the pain or lessen the pain.

Andre J. Chew

He never told her how much he love her till today.
Despite the facts that he always scream, shout and argue with her.
She got her own mind with her own self deep thoughts that no one is able to understand her.
Parents and friends is never supportive towards their two years and nine months of relationship.
Objections is loud and clear.
He took the steps back and willing to go to the extra mile just to work things out.

He love her too much that he is not willing to let go any years,months,hours,minutes and seconds to let her go and forgive her even.

He fell so deep in love with her.

He is willing to sacrifire anything now just to make her feel happy.

Be it a total revamp or a change for a better man.

The love for her is a biggest challenge for him.

Changes

She woke up.
Made herself a cup of coffee.
Litled her cigarette.
She look into the mirror.
She looks somehow different from her new hairdos.
As she flipped through her old photos.
She realised she had wide varieties of image of her.

Security

She lost her sense today.

The word "security" removed from her dictionary.

Hoping and wishing that things will be different.

Too painful to cried her heart out.

Emotions hidden deep inside her.

Unable to express herself well.

She hide herself in a dark and cold room.

Questions about her came along.

Drained and hurtful that she kept it quiet unable to give an answer to anything.

The time and fate will give her an answer to everything.

Back?

She put on her favourite pair of denim skirt with a simple dark coloured top.
Pulled and tied her hair back and wear her glasses just like any girl from next door.
She wore three pairs of earrings just to fit in her six pierced ear holes.
She slipped on her pair of favourite heels.
She walked and smile with confident.
Passer by around the streets take a second look at her piercing.
Once a cool looking chick
Removed her piercings for the thought of a loved one.
Today she is gear up with her earrings again to display her love for piercing.
Letting go her bad memories seems so worth it.
She is loving every bits and moments now.

For Daddy

He lay in the bed helplessly.
Unable to move much.
Packets of drip is inject to his body each day.
He looks tired, sick and worried.
He always hide his emotions just like his daughter.
His daughter is always his main worry after all these years.
His daughter might not be understanding at times.
But her love for her family is unlimited.
Just like her dad love her mum after all these twenty five years.

SHE

She woke up at 6am from monday to friday.
She took a shower and put on her school uniform.
She spritz on her favourite perfume before she left for school each day.
The moment she stepped out of school after lessons.
She would sat on a coffee shop to spent the rest of the afternoon till she feel tired or dinner time.
Looking back of how she misbehaved back then.
Brings her laughters and full of regrets.

The afternoon affair

You are green in colour before you are harvest.
You turn dark brown in colour when you are roasted.
I love you because you taste bitter and salty.
I love to brew you for a perfect cuppa.
You taste like heaven when i load you up with milk and a dash of hazelnut syrup.
I love to hold you up and spend some quiet moment with you.
Cos you are part of me.

My creation

The moment i created you sucessfully.
I simply can't take off my eyes of you.
You simply made me go drooling wet and wild.
As i slowly slice you by slices.
You reveal the cheesy taste with a dose of mashed dark cocoa biscuits.
You look hell of sinful.
But i can't wait for you to enter my mouth to savour the moment of sweetness and lust.

The affair

You are my best companion when i need you most.
You look sexy, bittersweet and full of goodness.
You are everyone's favourite snack of all the time.
People love you for your look and taste.
You are covered with thick coated of cocoa powder.
The moment when i strip you.
You unveils the sexiness of the man kind.
You simply turns me on whenever i need a dose of lust.
You are simply too irresistible to resists.

The love

The love we've had was a never easy one.
Filled with moment of lust, love, rows of quarrels, violence and diagreements.
We loved , shared , spent quality time to work our relationship till the every best of last bits.
I understand your frustrations and you vent your anger on me be it physical or emotion.
I never hold it against you. Cos i know you don't mean it.
Afterall these years, i'll been standing by your side.
You may not understand what i've been through cos i never tell you.
I don't wish to see you are upset, i'll get upset too.
When you are hurt, i'll get hurt too.
The love tells me a story.

I

I am made of sugar and spices just like any other girls.
Often misunderstood and being treated like a normal typical next door girl.
I am the type of girl that girls hates alot
I'm the kind that boys fantasize and love to hang out with.
The side of me is something that no one is able to read my mind or able to understand my nature.
Call me a weirdo or someone whom have been through abit different from others.

The candle

The candle has litled.
It shows sign of life.
It brings hope for the hopeless moment of life.
It directs me to the direction of a new signs and hope of life.
The candle was once never appreciate by anyone.
In the living comfort of a technology in these days.
The light of the candle just gone off when the wind blown.
Thus, the light of the candle is gone and show signs of losing directions.

Trash or Treasure?

The trash once seen as a trash just like a rubbish bin.
Once disposed it will not be back again.
Once a trash may seems like a treasure of gold.
The treasure once seems like a trash is something worth looking at it the second time.

Inspired by : The karang guni man

Stars

The stars is an amazing thing.
The starry stars seems dim and low like the mood of feeling down.
The heavy cloud passes by and cover the stars just like a wind blown.
The stars and the sky helps sailors to sail a smooth journey ahead.
The stars brings hope of life and give direction in life ahead.

The view

The view potrays a blury image of the side of an unknown object.

The unknown object seems confusing yet it shows signs of details.

The details of the object shows lots of feelings if you take another point of view.

The feeling of the object is never known and was never felt by human till it cuts you deep enough to know the sharpness and danger of the object.

The object is something worth taking a second view.

Comfort Zone

She stepped into the room filled with lavish clothings and designer bags.
The comfort zone once she led was a long day ahead full of shopping from designer's boutique.
The chick who once known as steadfast as a rock.
Temptations lead her to lose her senses and direction in life.
The comfort zone has come to the end.
When the demands is over.

The song was dedicate for me from Daniel

My buddy Daniel, thinks this song sounds exactly like me few years ago. Well it is up for everyone to judge. The lyric as per below.

Tata Young - Sexy, Naughty , Bitchy

[Chorus]
I pick all my skirts to be a little too sexy
Just like all of my thoughts they always get a bit naughty
When I'm out with my girls
I always play a bit bitchy
Can't change the way I am sexy naughty bitchy me

I'm the kind of girl that girls don't like
I'm the kind that boys fantasize
I'm the kind that your momma and your daddy were afraid you'd turn out to be like
I may seem unapproachable but that's only to the boys who don't have the
Right a approach or ride that makes a girl like me wanna hop in and roll

People think it's intimidating when a girl is cool with her sexuality
I'm a 180 to the stereotype girls like staying home and being innocent

[Chorus]

My mouth never takes a holiday
I always shock with the things i say
I was always the kid in school who turned up to each class bout an hour late and when it came to the guys I'd lay, I'd always pick the ones who wont figure out that
I am clearly a rebel to the idea of monogamy

People think it's intimidating when a girl is cool with her sexuality I'm a 180 to the stereotype girls like staying home and being innocent

[Chorus]

Sexy, sexy... naughty, naughty... bitchy, bitchy...me
Sexy, sexy... naughty, naughty... bitchy, bitchy...me

People think it's intimidating when a girl is cool with her sexuality
I'm a 180 to the stereotype girls like staying home and being innocent

[Chorus]

I like all of my shorts to be a little too shortly
Unlike all of my guys I like them tall with money
I love all of my nights to end a little bit nasty
Can't change the way I am sexy naughty bitchy me

I pick my skirts to be sexy
Just like my thoughts a bit naughty
When I'm out with my girls ...bitchy
Can't change
I am Sexy naughty bitchy me


P/S: Daniel, do i really sound like it? But there is one thing i agree on as per lyric till today.

"I'm the kind of girl that girls don't like."

Gone...

Long gone were those days.

The fun filled and wild memories filled with crowds, gallons of alcohol, countless packets of cigarettes litled each time, seductive table top and pole dance movements to lure the men's attention at the club.

The gathering at the club seems quieter for each gathering i was invited.

Those were the days.

Dedicate to : Johnathan, Norman, Yanxuan, Tim, Jermaine , Ezer , Joan , Alan , Melvin , Andy, Eric , Johnny , Kenny and Chee Huei.

The song

I'll been singing this song since this morning i woke up. I recorded my own singing, it's kind of cool. Though i kind of lost my voice now.

Title: Bitch
By: Meredith Brooks

I hate the world today, your so good to me
I know but I can't change
Tried to tell you, but you look at me like
Maybe I'm an angel underneath
Innocent and sweet, yesterday
I cried
You must have been relieved to see the softer side
I can understand how you'd be so confused,
I don't envy you
I'm a little bit of everything all rolled into one

I'm a bitch, I'm a lover
I'm a child, I'm a mother
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint
I do not feel ashamed
I'm your hell, I'm your dream
I'm nothing in between
You know you wouldn't want it any other way
So take me as I am

This may mean you'll have to be a stronger man
Rest assured that when I start to make you nervous
And I'm going to extremes
Tomorrow I will change and today won't mean a thing

I'm a bitch, I'm a lover, I'm a child, I'm a mother
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint
I do not feel ashamed
I'm your hell, I'm your dream
I'm nothing in between
You know you wouldn't want it any other way

Just when you think you've got me figured out
The season is already changing
I think it's cool you do what you do
And don't try to save me

I'm a bitch, I'm a lover , I'm a child, I'm a mother, I'm a sinner, I'm a saint
I do not feel ashamed
I'm your hell, I'm your dream
I'm nothing in between
You know you wouldn't want it any other way

I'm a bitch, I'm a tease
I'm a goddess on my knees
When your hurt, when you suffer
I'm your angel undercover
I've been numb, I'm revived
Can't say I'm not alive
You know I wouldn't want it any other way

The Girl

There was once a girl who often smile with confidence.
Strong willed, friendly, funny yet attractive to mens around her.
Mens was smitten by her beauty and personality.
A man came along brings her joy and laughter.
She fell head over heels in love with him.
Love changed that filled with anger and violence.
The love reaches to the end of the journey.
She start to love and be herself again.

Inspired by ~ Reflection in the mirror
The day i lost all my senses.

Friendship

The day when we first met was the memorable one .
Fate bought the three of us to go through ups and downs till today.
Looking back the old memories brings me joy and laughter.
The promises we once shared thirteen years ago is something that we’ll remember till today.

Specially dedicate to Joanne Yang and Rachel Lau.

Time

Clock is tickling every minutes and seconds.
The wait at the clinic seems so long and tedious.
The side of me lies a helpless and desperate act of a human being.
The look of the clock reminds me of the pendulum swinging back and forth.
Thee time of waiting has reveal the sadness moment of truth.

Inspired by ~ Myself
Co - inspired ~ The clinic.

The Cut

The cut right deep into a human soul.
The cut reveals the sadness.
The river of blood unveils a tale or two.
The blood of river and a soul of a human reveals the pain, grief and sadness.
The cut has reveals the soul of a human blood.

Inspired by: Nostaglic moment of life
For : Joanne Yang, hope you have remove the 15 stitches.

The moment of despair

The moment of truth hurts.
It cuts deep down to my heart.
Deep enough to dash hope for the hopeful.
The prayer brings comfort and hope.
But time has proven the situation is crude to dash hope for the hopeful.
That is when the moment of despair reveals.

Inspired ~ Glimpse of light (See photo on my facebook)

New year and new resolutions

I nearly fainted on my chair when i sat down and think what i want to achieve this new year or something i want to achieve for long term.

There goes the list of stuffs i want to do/buy/wish/achieve

- I want a stable income with a stable job.

- Get back my health status. (It has confirmed that i am suffering from some kind of spine disorder problems by the specialist)

- Digital camera (prefer nikon or canon. I am a camwhore!!!).

- Lenovo or apple laptop (For the multi tasking side of me. You guys know what i mean.)

- Dior Monogram saddle bag ( i have been eyeing for 2 years!!!!!).

- I need to save more money and do some kind investment. (Can be done and it is a habit to save.)

- I am going back to school. (I should be going back to school before i hit 26 or 28. But most likely taking part time degree course major in Public Relations and Media Studies).

- I want to slim down and grow back my locks (Probably 8kgs to go on.Managed to slim down 2kgs through intensive dancing and healthy diet. Think i look great with long hair.)

- Pole and erotic dance lessons (Been waiting for this long long time though i do have exposure of lap dance and exposure of exotic dance).

- I want to help out in a old folk's home or some kind of organisation (I love to share my love and concern to the unfortunate people be it a fund raising or just merely helping out distributing food for the unfortunate people).

- Helping the abused stray cat or dog organisation (It breaks my heart whenever i see a stray dog/cat got injuried or have to put to death.)

- I want to spend more time with Weckie and Jacqueline. (Simply love them for everything).

- I want to get a Volkwagen beetle (It is kind of tough. But at least something i can look forward to).

- Hope to catch up with everyone be it for coffee,movie,clubbing,pubbing,wine tasting,pot luck, and those activities that i used to hang out with you guys.

- Hope things might work out for us. (let fate and time decide.)

At last but not least i truly wish everyone is happy and stay in good health.